In my last blog I spoke about the three levels of relating within marriage.  Let me talk about the two levels of relating in most of life.  They are submission and compliance.  In submission you place yourself under the authorities in your life – God first, governing authorities, your boss, your board, and the needs of your family.  Compliance is very different.  They can appear to be about the same, but what’s going on inside you is completely different.  Compliance asks the question:  What do I have to do to get what I want or how much can I get away with?  Submission is a relationship of trust, and it is extremely peaceful.  It doesn’t mean you can’t get another job if you have a boss who is impossible, but it does mean you decide that while you are there under his leadership you will recognize God has put governing authorities in your life, and it is your job to treat them with respect and deference. 

 The compliant person is the kind of person who will say yes and then go around and talk about what you don’t like or how dumb the person who’s making you do things is or how they’re difficult, etc.  The compliant person talks out of both sides of his/her mouth and is twofaced in every respect.  You’ll be able to tell whether you are submissive or compliant with regard to authority by how much you complain and how readily you find the negative in the authorities in your life. 

 Several years ago I was coming home from being out of town and was not paying attention and was pulled by a highway patrolman for speeding.  He asked me how fast I thought I was going, and I told him.  He said, “That’s pretty close.”  I was one mile an hour off what his radar said.  He said, “I’ll be back in a minute.”  He went back to his patrol car and came back and gave me a warning.  I said, “Thank you so much.  Would you mind telling me why you gave me a warning?”  He said, “Would you mind telling me why you told me the truth?”  I said, “I have tremendous respect for guns and badges.”  He said, “In this case it saved you some money.”  Submission is the willingness to be comfortable with the authority of others and to not feel that it somehow diminishes you.          

 Compliance feels that everybody else’s money, authority, or power diminishes you.  Therefore you have the urge to bring them down.  Yet you know you don’t actually have the ability to pull it off, so you act like you’re doing what they want while at the same time complaining and being in the negative mode.  Move up from compliance to submission.  It is the will of God for every Christian (Eph. 5:21; Rom. 13:1-3; Heb. 13:17). Compliance is certainly better than rebellion, but it is a lot less honoring to God’s purpose than submission.